Who were you before the world told you who you should be?
If you stripped away all your labels. all the ideas of your identity which is often wrapped up in being a mother, a wife, a partner or your business or work…..who are you truly under all of that?
I took my little girl to see Mary Poppins this week at Newcastle Theatre Royal, and there were so many profound beautiful lessons in it of love, family, fun, memories, and living by your own truth. What struck me more than anything was how two of the main characters had lost a true sense of who they really were, burdened down with responsibility and what was expected from them. The character Mr Banks was left feeling devastated when he thought he had lost his job and he seemed to struggle to remember who he truly was under the responsibility of providing for his family. What he loved to do as a child, what his hopes and dreams were before he fulfilled his expected role in life. Several times Mrs Banks also reflects on who she truly is and what role in life is she meant to play as a wife and mother. This resonated with me so much as I remember also thinking ‘Is this my life?’ Am I here just to be a Mum? The perfect partner and maintain the illusion of having it all?
We often live life to fulfil expectations from family or society, How many times do women decide to get married because everyone else is doing it, or start a family because they feel they should, or follow a career path because its perceived by others as a secure and steady job, or stay in a relationship because thats the done thing? We often do all these things without truly taking the time to consider and reflect whether its truly what we want and in line with who we really are as a person. Of course, there are lots of women that also make these decisions from the heart and know exactly who they are but there are so many that make choices based in what they think they should do rather than what they really want. We have to ask ourselves – Are we really happy or just comfortable? Whose life are we living…..our own or what others expect?
What Ive found in my own life is the times that we can feel we have lost a sense of self or feel confused is often the times we have made choices that are not aligned with our core values and who we truly are. The times I have made what I perceived at the times as ‘mistakes’, have often been when I have been disconnected to my true authentic self. I have began relationships, even got married in my twenties, followed a career path, making decisions to do what was expected or for the wrong reasons, and each time the choices I made weren’t in line with what and who I truly am were those choices that didn’t work out.
Often these are the times that we then lose what we have clung on too tightly as our identity. Yet, the gift in this, is that when we feel we have lost everything is when we truly begin to find ourselves. When we no longer have something that we might have attached ourselves to, to define ourselves in this world can feel terrifying, yet this is a chance to find ourselves again and rediscover what makes you YOU. This can be our marriage, our role as a parent or maybe a job. Sometimes we have to be willing to lose everything we cling too, to truly gain ourselves.
In order to have a true connection to the woman within, we have to begin to explore and challenge our thoughts and belief systems. We have to want to connect to our inner child and rediscover what makes us feel truly happy and alive. To remember who you are, you often need to forget what others have told you to be.
What truths would you unravel about yourself if you took this chance? How would or could your life change if you rediscovered who you truly are under the identity that you share with the world? Waking up to who we really are often requires letting go of who we imagine ourselves to be.
Social media often glorifies this image that we can feel is so important to share with others. Are you the same person behind closed doors as you are on Facebook? Thats true authenticy and yet so many of others feel we have to be a certain way and live a certain way to be accepted by others. Yet, it truly doesn’t matter what others are doing, only what you are doing and that you are feeling happy, at peace and living a life you truly love.
As Brene Brown says: ‘Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are’
Steps to reconnect to the woman within:
1 Begin to journal and reflect on what you would love to do, either secretly or just things that you know would truly make you happy. Write down everything you love and that makes you smile and makes you happy, and write a date you last did it. Set a small clear intention over the next few weeks to do some of these things.
2. Spend time in nature or meditating. Time in solitude gives you clarity. Clarity on who you are and what you truly want in life. Its in silence we hear answers. We often don’t allow ourselves this time, sometimes deliberately keeping so busy as we don’t want to hear what our heart is telling us. Allow yourself confusion as it is only through confusion we come to clarity.
Rumi says – ‘There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen’
3 Learn to connect to your own intuition and listen to your own heart instead of the noise, opinion or judgements of others. Our greatest fear as humans is what will others think. Challenge this fear and learn to trust your own counsel. Allow yourself to become all of who you should be. A great little affirmation to keep in mind is: ‘I no longer want people to decide who I am, I will decide that for myself’
Sarah Ban Breathnach says – ‘Our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic self. We must learn to respect them. We must learn to listen.
Your soul is always going to whisper your truth, your authentic self always wants what is best for you and if you try to silence that voice……eventually it becomes a roar.
There is a powerful process to begin this journey of peeling back the layers and finding who you truly are under the roles you have in life through my ‘Clarity’ option via my one to one coaching process. Within two session, you will begin to rediscover you, find you again. This gives you so much clarity in life and helps you move forward if you are feeling stuck or lost. See link for details – Details of Coaching – Clarity sessions
Alternatively, a new online coaching program has just started this week – ‘Awaken the woman within’. Its not to late to join us. Click on the link for more details – http://sarahseed.namaranet.com/awaken-the-woman-within-soul-coaching-membership/
Whatever you decide to do in life, make sure its your authentic self making those decisions and then life will feel happy and you will be at peace.
Give the real woman within the chance to shape your life.